hirap maging GWAPO!

boy: hay naku! ang hirap talaga maging GWAPO!
.
.
.
.
girl: oo nga eh. buti hindi mo NARARANASAN! :p

AKIN KA. :)

pwede bang maging DIPLOMA kita?
.
.
.
.
Paranaman magkaroon ako ng katibyan na AKIN KA.:)

friendship law

Friendship has one law.
They said, never let your friends feel that they are alone
.
.
.
.
so
.
.
.
.
disturb them as much as you can! :p

pedro & Juan

Teacher: Earth is the 3rd planet from the sun.Now Pedro, what is next to Mercury?

Pedro: generic pharmacy siguro ma'am. 'di lang ako sure.

Teacher: Pilosopo! Sa planets hindi mga pharmacy. Ang answer Venus. Sige Juan, ano ang susunod sa Venus?

Juan: ka-simple, SHAMCEY TSUP TSUP! 25! PHILIPPINES!

KAKALIWA ka ba?

magandang pasahero: kuya, KAKALIWA ka ba?
.
.
.
.
driver: kung magiging tayo, siyempre HINDI

SLUTTY GIRL

A slutty girl is like the first slice of bread in a loaf.

Everyone touches it but nobody wants it!

ang SEX parang BILLIARDS

Ang SEX,
parang BILLIARDS
.
.
.
.
IPASOK mo na ang LAHAT,
huwag lang yung PUTI!!!

UTANG

Kung ayaw mong kalimutan ka ng isang tao
.
.
.
.
UTANGAN mo!

BISYO

Dalawa lang bisyo ko:
PAGLALASING at PAGSUSUGAL
.
.
.
.
ang MALASING sa pagmamahal mo at ISUGAL ang lahat para sayo

substitute my X

Mahusay ka ba sa Algebra?
.
.
.
.
kasi, can you substitute my X without asking Y?

NAKAKAINIP

Lahat ba ng matagal nakaka-inip?
.
.
.
.
Paano kapag hinalikan kita ng matagal,
maiinip ka kaya?

MANHID na tao

isa sa pinakamalaking katangahan sa mundo
.
.
.
.
yung alam mong madaming may gudto sayo,
pero nagagawa mo paring maghintay,
sa isang napakaMANHID na tao

Juan & Pedro saving a preggy

Juan and Pedro were swimming at the beach when they saw a pregnant woman drowning.

They quickly pulled her to safety.

Juan starts to do CPR when he noticed Pedro take the woman's underwear off and put his mouth on her vagina.

Juan asked Pedro: What are you doing?

Pedro said: You save the mother and I'll save the child!

pet shop

in the pet shop scenario:

SUICIDE BOMBER: everyone has 1 minute to get out of the pet store!

TURTLE: alla! i hate you!

wala kayong pakialam kung mahal ko siya

wala kayong pakialam kung mahal ko siya!!!
.
.
.
.
siya nga walang pakialam eh, KAYO pa kaya?! :))

ang LOVE parang SIPON

ang LOVE parang SIPON
.
.
.
.
why do you keep on pulling him back to you
when it's better for you to let him/her go?
.
.
.
.
in TAGLOG,
bakit ayaw mo ISINGA kung mas giginhawaka kapag nawala siya? :)

di ako magsasawa sa KAMA

pag ikaw ang nakatuluyan ko
.
.
.
.
di ako magsasawa sa "KAMA"
.
.
.
.
"KAMA" mahal SAYO!