sana APOY na lang ako

sana APOY na lang ako..

hindi dahil sa HOT ako..

kundi dahil para automatic..

LUSAW lahat ng PLASTIK sa paligid ko! :))

bumanat si MAHAROT

banat ng isang maharot na korny

maharot: airport ka ba?

boy: bakit?

maharot: eroplano kasi ako na gustong maglandi..este, maglanding sayo.

si pangit at si maganda

sabi ng mga pangit na inaapi..

"what is the use of your beauty if your brain is empty?"

umepal naman ang magaganda

"what is the use of your knowledge if your face is damage?"

sumagot ang pangit

"knowledge can make money and money can fix damaged faces."

live life with GOD

Life is full of reasons to enjoy,
to suffer,
to fight, and
to give up.

but there's only one reason
why life is beautiful.
..it's when we live life with GOD.

looking for friends

we look for friends
..not because it's lonely watching movies alone.
..not because it's sad to eat meals on your own.
..not because it's nice to cuddle up with someone on rainy days.

we look for friends
because we want to be accepted.
..for the sloppy way we dress,
..for the messy way we eat,
..for bad hair days, and
..for the simplicity in us.

friendship is an act off acceptance.
that with all our imperfections, we are accepted and loved.

for dry skin

juan: lintik na sabin to! ayaw bumula!

pedro: pano bubula yan? hindi naman basa katawan mo, tanga!

juan: siyempre! for dry skin to!

heights of racism

heights of racism:

a little white kid goes and stands between 2 black kids

and says,

"look mommy, I made an OREO!"

it's more fun in the philippines

since we have already the "it's more fun in the philippines", maybe we can also -have some of these Philippines domestic tourism slogans:

-Boracay You Sexy Beach

-Haller, Baler!

-Bohol: Go To Hill

-Be Cool, Bicol

-Thank you, Camiguin!

-Hanap Mo Bay Maluwang? Halina Sa Laoag!

-Maliit Navotas, Lumalaki

-We Fly High In Capiz!

-Go Gaga In Naga!

-Kaibigan! Punta Na Sa Vigan!

-Virac, You Rock!

-Kamuning, Get Me!

-Better Leyte Than Never!

-Whee! Twai-Tawi

-Walang Aayaw Sa Apayao!

-Maraming Gig Sa Taguig!

-Bongga Ka Day Sa Norzagaray!

Isama na ang I wanna dance with Zambales, I wanna feel the heat with Zambales!

Eto pa, Batang Di solid, Batang di Liquid, Batangas!

Ang pamatay, He can, she can, you can, we all can, Bulacan

FOREVER is a lot more possible

maybe the reason why you have to stop loving a person is because fate chose both of you to be friends

where FOREVER is a lot more possible.

2 main things about friendship

Great friendship is about two main things:

first, is to find out the similarities

and 

second is to respect the differences.

NURSE

when you save a person's life, they call you a hero.
when you combine science with caring, they call you an expert.
when you share your compassion, they call you a friend.
when you do all three, they call you a NURSE.

BARKADA ang dahilan kung bakit wala kang LOVELIFE

Minsan ang mga baliw mong BARKADA ang dahilan kung bakit hindi mo namamalayang wala kang LOVELIFE.

for green minded persons only

2 kids were lying on bed under a blanket.

1st kid; i'm a boy, and you?

2nd kid: i don't know.

1st kid: wait! i'll check!

(he went under the blanket and said "you're a girl")

2nd kid: how did you know?

1st kid: 'coz my socks are blue and your's are pink! :))

wallet is like an onion

my wallet is like an onion..

everytime i open it,

i cry!!!

AWAN KARGA NA EH."

:))

wag iyakan ang nanloko sayo

huwag iyakan ang taong nang iwan at nanloko sayo.

hindi pa siya patay! wag excited! :p

BOY nagtext sa kanyang EX-GF

boy: hi!musta?
girl: ok lang, ikaw?
boy: ok lang din.ang lovelife natin jan?
girl: ok lang naman.
boy: kayo parin ng syota mong pangit?
girl: hindi na kaya, diba break na tayo?

ang HOT ko!!! :))

Kapag sinabihan ka na MAITIM ka, ito sabihin mo:

"ay sorry ha? sa sobrang HOT ko kasi, pati sarili ko TOASTED na."

durog si girl! :p

boy: Lamok ka ba?
girl: Bakit?
boy: kasi sinisipsip mo ang pagmamahal ko eh.
(bumawi si girl)
girl: Kanal ka ba?
boy: Bakit?
girl: Kasi tanga lang ang mahuhulog sayo
boy: Ah, ganun? Alam mo nanununtok ako ng maganda.
girl: Oh, sige! suntukin mo ko
boy: bat ko gagawin yun, maganda ka ba?

may nakiki-JUMPER ba?

dati ang lakas ng kuryenteng dumadaloy sa ating dalawa.

bakit ngayon ang hina na?

tanong ko lang..
may nakiki-JUMPER ba?

God is up to something

when you are down to nothing, God is up to something.
the faithful see the invisible, believe the incredible,
and then receive the impossible.

don't miss the CHANCE

Each morning is a CHANCE.
-CHANCE to enjoy life to its fullest
-CHANCE to correct our mistakes
-CHANCE to forgive
-CHANCE to ask forgiveness
-and a CHANCE to love and be loved.
Don't miss the CHANCE that you receive as you wake up each day and give thanks to GOD.

ang PAGMAMAHAL parang INUMAN

Ang PAGMAMAHAL parang INUMAN.
Kahit gaano ka kasaya,
magtatapos  parin ito sa salitang
"HINDI KO NA KAYA."

umayos ka nanay!

Nanay: Anak bumili ka nga ng asin sa kanto
Anak: Ayaw ko nga. Madilim na, takot na ako lumabas.
Nanay: Wag ka mag alala, kasama mo namanangel mo eh.
Anak: Eh di siya na lang utusan mo. Dalawa pa kami, para asin lang!
Nanay: Bastos na bata ito ah!
Anak: Ang bastos naka hubad.
Nanany: (hinimatay)
Anak: Yan ang bastos! Kinakausap mo tutulugan ka. Umayos ka nay! Baka hindi kita maatantya!

MOVING ON

MOVING ON doesn't mean you'l forget all the memories.
You still remember it but it doesn't affect you anymore.

MAGANDA ka? SAANG BANDA?

Bawasan ang KAARTEHAN kung hindi naman sagad ang KAGANDAHAN.
Madaling sabihin na MAGANDA KA.
Mahirap naman hanapin kung SAAN BANDA!

bf buhat si gf

boyfriend buhat si girlfriend

GF: ui
BF: po?
GF: pagod ka na?
BF: hindi ah. bakit?
GF: pagod ka na eh. baba mo na ako.
BF: (ngumiti) paano ako mapapagod eh buhat buhat ko yung lakas ko.

"if someone's strong enough to bring you down, you better show them you're strong enough to get up!"

hindi porket sweet, mahal ka

hindi lahat ng SWEET mahal ka..
tandaan:
Ang candy ay matamis pero nakabalot sa PLASTIC.

moving on is easy

"People don't really need reasons and explanation in order to move on. Because moving on is an easy thing 'IF' you start to accept everything."

stay positive

one thing I've learned from GOD:


Stay positive even if the whole place is being negative

BASTA MADE INCHINA HAN NGA BUMAYAG

An ilokano girl married a Chinese man...


they had a baby boy who eventually died..


At the burial, her aunt came crying, saying,


"kunak met gamin, BASTA MADE INCHINA HAN NGA BUMAYAG!"

pag-ibig

Ang pag-ibig minsan parang 1st degree AV Block.

Better late than never. :D

Ang true love ay pareho sa konsepto ng multo

"Ang true love ay pareho sa konsepto ng multo

marami ang naniniwala pero konti lang ang nakakakita."

Minsan kailangan mong makalimot para ikaw naman ang maalala

"Minsan kailangan mong makalimot para ikaw naman ang maalala.
Paano kapag hindi ka naalala?
Simple lang,
eh di wala kang halaga."

PILIPINO ka kung..

PILIPINO ka kung...


sinasabi mong PAALIS ka na..

kahit NAGBIBIHIS ka pa lang! :))

shoes and moon are like friends

Shoes never meet yet share the same size.

The moon and the sun couldn't be one yet crosses the same sky.

Same with friends who don't meet often but never stop being friends. :)

nakikipagbalikan

BOY: Pwede ba maging tayo ulit?

GIRL: maghintay ka ng tatlong araw

BOY: okay

(Pagkalipas ng tatlong araw)

BOY: Ano, pwede na ba?

GIRL: Tumingin ka sa langit.Ilan ang araw?

BOY: Isa

GIRL: Sabi ko tatlong araw diba?

hindi porket sweet, mahal ka

"Hindi porket sweet sa 'yo, MAHAL KA. Tandaan: Ang candy ay nababalutan ng PLASTIC!

LALAKENG parang TETRIS

mag ingat sa mga LALAKENG parang TETRIS.

patong lang ng patong hanggat makabuo

pag nakabuo na bigla bigla na lang MAWAWALA

isa kang HIPON pag patapon ang mukha pero panalo ang katawan

LOLLIPOP kung patapon ang katawan pero panalo ang mukha

kung patapon ang mukha at katawan mo at panalo ka naman sa utak, BULALO ka

Pero kung patapon na mukha, katawan at utak mo, maging BUKO ka na lang..malinis ang kalooban! :)

happy ending

"in ever ending, there's such a thing that we call HAPPY ENDING."

secret to real happiness

"The secret to real happiness is to ignore the negative voices in your head.
No matter how bad things seem, they'll always get better."

boy1and boy2

boy1: pre, ang cute naman ng GF mo

boy2: thanks! Pero wag ka ng umasa dahil akin na siya!

boy1: sows pre!kung asawa nga naaagaw, GF pa kaya?

boy2: sabagay, eh kung bulkan nga sumasabog, mukha mo pa kaya?